Peter Owusu Ansah writes : Dealing with hurts, offences in the Church without becoming bitter [Part 1]

Last year around this time, it was actually Easter Sunday. Our Church climaxed our 30th Anniversary by honouring some committed and impactful members over the years.. Chaaale someway somehow my name wasn’t in the list…. Hmmm that day koraa I had to go and lead some fundraising at Seat Of Wisdom (Oyarifa) but I made sure I came on time to sing for the second collection. Bishop John Louis was the main celebrant.

After Mass, a number of Parishioners came to me to console me while expressing their disappointment in how unfairly the committee treated me. Funny enough, majority of the committee members were my own brothers and friends including Andy Manomey and Divine.. .hehehe a typical case of “S3 aboa bi b3ka wo na efiri wontoma mu”.. 😊

Frankly, I was hurt even though I managed to control my emotions. At a point I wanted to express my feelings to some of the church leaders. Because this is a church that I have served for about 15 years. I don’t want to boast or cite many examples but I remember leaving my wife who was in a critical condition at the labour ward because it was time to go sing for Kofi and Ama.

We thank God for saving her and Emma that Sunday…Those were the Fr Benyah days; I was a “star boy” in the church. The music ministry then which I led was so vibrant and impactful. And yes, I’ve served in other areas too. Enough said… Even my wife was surprised that I was treated this way but we had to move on…. At a point I was planning to leave to another parish… Hmmm it is well ❤️‍🩹 🙏

Of course I must admit that at some point around 2020/21 my commitment went down because my ministry or service was needed in other Catholic Churches and parishes. I had also become a family man with two children to cater for….. Nokofio things so I started Uber and other things, you know…. Man needed to survive..There were a few times I confronted leadership for the way I was been unfairly treated. I’m sure all these contributed to why I was exempted in the awards. Church Politics but Jesus is Lord 😁 🙏.

Did I feel entitled? Well I don’t know but Chaaaaaale “Apostle” Peter wey them do me this de33 dem no try koraa o herrrrhh.. Satan sef go fit be my witness…lol

I’m not sharing this to spite or shame my church or its leaders, far from that but I feel need to get this off my chest. By God’s grace I’m still there doing the little I can to help my Pastor for the spiritual growth of the community.

The goal is to bring hope, comfort, direction and wisdom to others who may be going through the same ordeal now. What’s even funny about this thing is that, at some point in time I also joined a church where I received an award after a year or so and because of that some of the old members got so offended. Chale, things dey happen o.

TEN POINTS TO HELP MANAGE THIS SITUATION POSITIVELY

Navigating church hurt without becoming bitter is one of the hardest spiritual battles because the pain often comes from people you trusted to represent Christ. The goal is not to pretend the wound does not exist, but to heal without losing your love for God, truth, and people. Here are some practical and spiritual ways to walk through it wisely:

1. SEPARATE JESUS FROM HUMAN WEAKNESS

Understand that the Church is holy because Christ is holy, but the people inside it are still imperfect. Anuanom, you too you are not correct like that o but other people are managing you. I’m sure you’ve also offended other people before so chill wae

2. ALLOW YOURSELF TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE PAIN HONESTLY

Spiritual maturity is not emotional suppression. Feel free to express your pain, frustration and disappointment, but do it in a positive way.

3. REFUSE TO REHEARSE OFFENSE

Pain becomes poison when we replay it constantly.
There is a difference between:
processing pain, and
feeding resentment.
When you continually revisit the offense emotionally, the wound begins to define your spiritual life.

4. PRAY BEFORE REACTING

Hurt can make us impulsive:
leaving suddenly
attacking leaders
withdrawing from worship
abandoning prayer
becoming cynical
Before making major decisions, take time to pray, fast, reflect, and seek wise counsel.

5. UNDERSTAND THAT FORGIVENESS IS NOT PRETENDING NOTHING HAPPENED
Forgiveness means: releasing vengeance, surrendering judgment to God and refusing hatred. It does not always mean immediate trust, automatic reconciliation, staying in unhealthy situations and ignoring abuse or manipulation.

NOW THE GOOD NEWS

God is good o. In that same year and by divine providence, Fr. Delight was transferred straight from Rome to be our pastor. One of the things he noticed was that I wasn’t happy and he spoke wisdom to my heart and soul. He helped me deal with any pain and hurt and smoothly supervised the launch of my maiden music album. It’s that same period that the WHOLE Metropolitan Archbishop of The Catholic Archdiocese of Accra came to honour me and celebrate God with me at my album launch. Isn’t God good?

Many lessons learnt. Keep Working for the Lord. Serve humanity. Focus on Jesus. Don’t let human and earthly applause be your sole motivation for serving God and humanity. As for offense e go come but don’t let it kill your joy for the Lord and the brethren. God is faithful and He duly rewards here on earth and in heaven.

Once again, no offense o, especially my Church people and leaders. Just strengthening others with my experience. Akpe

TO BE CONTINUED….Shalom