[Opinion] Social media and the culture of public confrontation: What are we teaching the next generation?

Whether we like it or not, social media has become an inseparable part of modern life. It connects people across distances, brings communities together, and has made the world feel smaller than ever before.

But as with many powerful tools, its benefits come with challenges. A common saying reminds us that the very thing we love can also become the very thing that harms us.

Social media has undoubtedly changed how we communicate, but it has also changed how we handle conflict. For many, it consumes money through constant data use, takes away valuable time, and often keeps people awake long into the night. More concerning is how it has become a public courtroom where misunderstandings, personal disputes, and grievances are quickly displayed for public judgment.

Increasingly, people use social media to settle personal scores, expose one another, or respond to disagreements without considering the dignity, privacy, or hard-earned reputation of the other person. It has also become a space where threats are made and relationships are damaged, sometimes involving people we once called close: family members, friends, spouses, colleagues, and community members.

A quick look at discussions around politics, religion, organizations, and social groups reveals how often public platforms have become arenas for conflict rather than dialogue.

Not too long ago, disputes were often handled privately. Parents, elders, chiefs, religious leaders, senior siblings, and respected members of the community played important roles in resolving disagreements discreetly. Many issues that arise today online would once have been addressed quietly, with mediation and restraint.

Now, however, even the smallest misunderstanding can lead to a public post. In moments of anger, many rush to social media, often sharing one side of a story in hopes of gaining sympathy or public support.

This raises important questions:

1. Does taking every disagreement to social media resolve the issue, or does it make it worse?
2. Beyond the temporary satisfaction of public approval, does exposing another person truly bring peace?
3. In moments of anger, do we forget that the person who offended us is still human?
4. If asked to choose between holding onto anger and preserving a relationship, which would we choose?
5. If we are comfortable exposing others publicly, are we prepared to accept the same treatment when we make mistakes?

Often, the desire to “win” a public argument may satisfy the ego for a moment, but it can leave lasting regret. In many cases, the damage done to trust, dignity, and relationships cannot easily be repaired.

Freedom of expression is important, but it must be exercised with responsibility. As much as people seek truth, justice, and fairness, these should be pursued with prudence. Prudence does not deny justice; rather, it ensures justice is pursued without causing unnecessary harm.

There are moments when people feel justified in retaliating, especially when they believe they have been wronged. Yet not every fight needs to be fought publicly. Sometimes patience, restraint, and wisdom achieve more than immediate reaction.

We may seek to hurt those who have offended us whether a spouse, sibling, friend, colleague, or partner but conflict handled without wisdom often deepens wounds rather than heals them. While people may fight to destroy reputations, true justice seeks restoration.

One lasting consequence of this culture is the example it sets for younger generations. Children are watching. They observe how adults respond to conflict, anger, and disappointment. If public humiliation becomes the norm for resolving disputes, they may grow to do the same not only with peers, but eventually even with parents and elders.

What seems satisfying today may shape behaviors we regret tomorrow. The values we practice publicly become lessons for those coming after us.

For many, social media has become more than a tool; it has become part of daily existence. Some struggle to know when to use it, where to use it, and when to stop. For others, being offline even briefly can feel unsettling.

Social media is much like a knife. In the right hands, it serves a useful purpose. In careless hands, it can cause deep harm.

The question, then, is not whether social media is good or bad. The real question is whether we are using it wisely or allowing it to use us.

Nicholas Nibetol Aazine, SVD

Coordinator for Justice, Peace and Integrity of Creation (JPIC)

Society of the Divine Word missionaries (SVD)

Ghana-Liberia Province

A Catholic, Missionary and Religious Congregation

nicholasbetol@gmail.com